Saturday, March 17, 2012


If you are friends with me on Facebook then you have probably already seen this photo but I feel like it deserves more attention than what I gave it over there.

I ran across this last night at Walmart in the garden section while looking for a "grow your own herb garden" set.  Yes, I have decided to try my hand at growing herbs (the cooking variety).  Yes, a bunch of nonsense - I know this already.  I have this grand idea that I could be the next Martha Stewart so I have to try to do everything she does.  Well, with the exception of going to prison because I just wouldn't make it - I would be shanked on GP alone.  When I was young, my sister and I often watched a UK soap opera called Prisoner: Cell Block H and those broads were no joke.   Now I'm wondering where our mother was when we were watching this show because it seems as though there was quite a bit of lesbianism going on in it. We grew up in the country where we didn't get cable until 1996 so our viewing options were limited and it was either this or play the humming game which I always lost because I could only hum the jingle for the Kellogg's Corn Flakes commercial or the theme to The Walton's. Refer back to the fact that we grew up in the country. 

I know I was going somewhere with this...oh yeah...the pizza garden.

So anyway, this "pizza garden" is just one available garden from Growums.  The other garden I found most interesting was the taco garden.  They are marketed for children and while I'm all for teaching kids how to grow food because as a child we had a garden every year but let's be real here for a minute.  When I was young if my mother had told me we were going to grow a taco garden or a pizza garden I would have fully expected to grow tacos and pizzas that were ready to eat.  Do you know how hot I would have been if my pizza or taco garden came up looking like a bunch of grass?!?  I would have been like Whiskey Tango Foxtrot???  

Ok, little known fact about me.  I love to hear little kids curse.  It makes me laugh so hard.  Yes, I know that's a little twisted but I do enjoy it so.  Here is what I imagine the conversation would be between a parent and child who just grew a pizza garden.

Parent: "The pizza garden is ready!"
Child: "Really?  Can we eat pizza now?"

Child runs outside, eager to eat a pizza from his/her fully grown pizza garden only to discover that all he/she has is the herbs and veggies to make a pizza.  

Child: "You mean to tell me I have grown this shit all summer and all I got was some damn grass?!?!  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot???"

Moral or the story: growing pizza or taco gardens is a bunch of random nonsense and I would love it.  

P.S. Happy St. Patrick's Day!!  I will not be wearing green and if anyone tries to pinch me they will get punched in the throat.

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